The Bachelor- And then there were 2

Ok I've got it. Courtney is dead pan for Ali MacGraw in Love Story days.






I'm really hoping the whole "karma's a bitch" thing will play out in the finale but I'm doubting it. I'm thinking this girl has it in the bag. They have way more chemistry. And by chemistry I mean Courtney has no problem using sex to win. I'm catching myself feeling a bit sorry for the girl at times- she's almost had me with the tears over her past behavior. But good old ABC loves to flashback to her previous smart ass comments which always bring me back to earth. Coming from an all girls high school, I really just feel like girls who don't get along with girls have some serious personality disorders. Clearly Ben doesn't need for us to tell him this- he knows it in his gut. He constantly brings it up with her, but for one reason or another *cough cough hot sex* can't seem to toss her.

This brings me on to Kacie B. Giiiiirrrrlll I knew it. I knew you were gonna go fuckin nuts at some point. And shit, you did it. You had to fly all the way to f'ing Switzerland to let him know just how insecure and young you are. Sweetheart, you is kind, you is smart and you is important. Did nobody ever tell you this? You don't need Ben. You don't love him. This is a bad reality show that has put you in isolation the past 6 weeks and made you more crazy. Girl, you need a friend to set your ass straight. Someone to say, "No sweetie! Don't get on that plane and fly for 16 hours to find out why he dumped your ass! Darlin' you don't need to warn him about Courtney. Honey he knows, but he likes that she puts out". You're better than this Kacie B and I'm afraid you just blew it for next Bachelorette. They can't erase hot mess.

BEN GET A HAIR CUT! Seriously. Seriously. If you are a man and are going to have long hair (and yes, as I've said previously, it is possible, though not easy), then at the very least, you must keep it well groomed. This includes but is not limited to frequent trims, use of hair product to minimize frizz and proper bone structure and masculinity to pull it off. Wearing a woman's wool trench coat does not help the situation.

Nicky- girl you got better and better as the season went on. Held together well enough at the end. Be proud girl. But throw that white dress out. Way to possible maternity for you. Yikes.

Lindzi- ugh.

It could only be me

It was a bad, bad day.

Awake barely, feeling cranky. Kids very awake and super cranky. Thousand things to do. House full of people coming in less than 8 hours. Dinner to make (so what if it's Stouffers!). Need to put away all the STUFF... EVERYWHERE!! What to wear? What will kids wear? What about tomorrow? Is pump charged for air mattress? So HUNGRY. Weigh self.  Shit, haven't even had breakfast. Cat needs food. Ok calm down. Make a list. Feed children. Feed self. Throw on clothes. Brush teeth... feeling better. Now time to cross some shit off the list. HEB. Two kids in tow. Got Baptism cake- looks precious. Maybe too small? Maybe get plain second cake. Call mom, attempt to pass this job off. No answer. Hmm... call her later.  Unload car. Start to prepare potatoes gratin for tomorrow. Dad stopping by to bring extra Stouffers. Shit, dad brings wrong item. Ok stay calm. Give dad cake to take. Shit, dad not going home. Ok stow cake in fridge... in a minute. Call Ryan to go to HEB to get more lasagna. Try mom on cell to get more cake. No answer, damn. Call her later. Flowers arrive. Smile, so pretty. Resume potato slicing with new mandolin. Love mandolin, perfect slices. Children playing. Yay feeling productive. Cat eating roses. Shit, forgot to feed cat. Shoo cat from roses. FUUUUCK! Cat was sitting on cake while eating roses. Are you EFFING kidding me!!!! Cat punctures cake, takes off. Cake all over house from cat's feet. Cake destroyed (well half). Slam phone on counter. Curse yourself for potentially damaging phone. Call mother. HOLY SHIT she answers. Prevents a death- mine or cat's... who knows? Mom laughing, me not.  Cat vomits rose leaves. Fucker. Call bakery. New cake ordered. Feeling better. Needed more cake anyways. It's just money, right? Resume potato slicing. Ella's got play-doh out. Hmm looks messy. She's busy, I'm happy. What Ella? Open more? Hmm.... FUUUUUCKKKKK just sliced my damn knuckle off!!!!!!!!!!! Does mommy need a bandaid? Yes, Ella. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm. No Ella mommy can't open play-doh at the moment. Wrap finger in dish towel. Damn I liked this dish towel. Throw it away. Use paper towels. Shit... more bleeding. Shit this looks bad. Shit Ella opened the play-doh. Baby crying. Call Ryan. No you can't call me back. I sliced my Fucking hand open. Love him. He knows it's bad. Call best friend. Second time to seek medical advice in 4 hours from her. Hmm... still bleeding. Yay Ryan is home. Takes baby. Takes Ella. Head to new mini-ER. Maybe they are fast. They are. Little fucking finger stops bleeding when doc sees it. One effing expensive bandaid. Tech feels sorry for me. Gives me purple gloves. Love these. Used purple gloves at first job. Miss med city. Miss free (??) medical supplies. Miss adult conversation. Ask tech if I can just nap here. He's nice. Has 4 week old.  Pay my bill. Take survey. Yes I would recommend. Drive home. Finger hurts. Throbbing sucks. Home sweet home. Two children napping at same time. MIRACLE. Lunch. mmm. Xanax. mmm. 

Project 52: EIGHT

What a week! The blog has been pretty quiet all week and I've been dying to find a minute to write a post or two. I've spent the last several days getting ready for and celebrating baby Rhett's Baptism. My little sweetheart is now officially legit- Catholic style :-) So this week I'm definitely grateful for our wonderful family. We had lots of family and close friends in town to surround us in love and faith as we celebrated Rhett's first sacrament. This weekend was all about welcoming our little boy into the world and the church. My heart is full knowing that already little Rhett is so loved.

Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Jeremiah 1:5.

Favorite: Anthropology!

Who doesn't love this store? It's fantastic. From the clothes to the kitchen supplies. Love Love Love. So what's better than Anthro? A BLOG about it. I recently discovered that one of my gym friends, Molly, has this awesome blog all about Anthropology. She's rather clever in every sense. From her fashion to party planning- she has a touch of it all.
Check it out when you get a chance. You'll definitely leave with the creative juices flowing. Here's the sick part- home girl had a baby just 3 months ago and she looks perfect. Go ahead and hate her just a little for it (it's her 4th after all :)

http://anthromollogies.com/

Project 52: SEVEN

This week I'm grateful for a day at the Rodeo with my family of FOUR! Sounds a little silly eh? Well it's a long story but if you're here I'm guessing you want to hear it. We have a little tradition now of spending a day on the rodeo grounds every February. We like to bust out our boots, eat fair food, wander the petting zoo, see some pig races and watch Ella ride a pony. Last year, we had our little family of 3 and I was 7 weeks pregnant with Rhett. I couldn't have been happier. After spending a couple hours on the grounds, I started bleeding (A LOT). We were certain I was miscarrying. That would be the second one in 6 months and it was heartbreaking. Our mood went from bliss to devastation in less than a minute. We couldn't leave that place fast enough and it seemed like the car was miles away. I remember those big silent tears that I just couldn't hide. I have to say I was also PISSED. So damn sick of being in that first trimester with no baby to show for it. But several phone calls to the OB and one ER trip later, little Rhett showed up on ultrasound. I was shocked. I had resigned myself to accept that maybe Ella was it for us and we should be damn happy to have her. And then there he was. Just like that. And here we are- one year later with Ella on daddy's shoulders and mommy holding Rhett. Heaven.

Just a few thoughts...

Bachelor 16: Forgot to mention this last night, BUT in my highly reliable source (US Weekly), I read that Courtney had previously dated none other than Jim Tooth (pre marriage to Reese Witherspoon). WTF right?!??! Had to share that.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: OK so this is by far my favorite cast of the Real Housewives franchise. It is my favorite little midnight treat after everyone has gone to bed. Unfortunately we just finished the season, but I hope you will all waste a little of your life with me and watch it next season or catch up with a Bravo marathon day. I used to work at this hospital in Santa Ana, CA (just south LA) where we never had any patients (I know... that's a whole other post to write about). Anyways it was like being a lifeguard- sat around and chilled until an emergency came up. ANYHOW, I had A LOT of time to kill and frequently did so in empty patient rooms with these Bravo marathons. Really is nothing better than being paid to watch crappy reality television. That's when I got hooked on the Real Housewives Orange County. Fascinating shit. I really can't believe people live like this. So in the Beverly Hills season they feature a gazillion story lines from domestic abuse, alcoholism, suicide, sister wars and some celebrity dish (one lady is Eddie Cibrian's ex-wife and the other was married to Kelsey Grammar). Not to mention that Kyle and Kim are Paris and Nicky Hilton's aunts. DRAMA is right. So ladies if you do watch already, what are your thoughts on Brandy and Dana? Both grew on me a bit during the reunion. Really can't make up my mind on Brandy. She's rather funny in a "I want to punch you in the face" kind of way. And Dana, though terribly pretentious, a bit comical. Shit, I think I can become a fan of anyone who can be honest about themselves. I'm currently watching the RHOOC (orange county) season. CRAZY bitches. 'nuff said. More to come on this.

Photography: So many of you have asked where I'm at with my new DSLR. Well ladies, I hate to admit but I still have NOT watched the damn tutorial DVD. BUT and this is a big BUT, I have started reading a few web tutorials on the matter. One I found on Pinterest (Thanks Melissa!!) and it is rather informative. I'm learning all about aperture, ISO and shutter speed. Once I finish this, it's DVD time! Otherwise, I'm loving my new camera and have busted it out even more than I had hoped.

A little re-org: SO if you made it all the way to the end of the post here's a little picture of my latest re-organization project. I tackled that pain in the ass little wire shelf above my washer and dryer. Unfortunately I didn't do a before photo, but let me assure it was a mess of rags, cleaners and other random crap that I just couldn't reach.

A few things to note about this.
1)Yes, I label EVERYTHING. I love my label maker. Laugh away and I will label you something :)
2)Yes, I bought way too much starch. In fact, I almost never iron anything (much more likely to bust out the steamer) but shoot, when I see that shiny little coupon in my Costco packet, I just have to use it.
3)I use the hanging paper bag to collect lint from the dryer (saves me a step) AND it works super well if you are trying to get a fire going.
4)These little clear shoe boxes are just the right size for a shelf that isn't very big and that is rather high. I love that I can reach a box and pull it down and it won't be very heavy. It also helps me keep everything sorted well. Larger boxes make it harder to stay organized and can also get heavy pretty quickly.

Coming soon is a post on my new peg-board wall in my closet to hold all my jewelry! Yup, get excited!

The Bachelor- Slut is the new Weird

Well shut the damn door, Ben had a vision. PPF yo! (past present future). I believe I have a James Avery charm for this ass hole. Ladies, I hate to say it but I believe Courtney is going to make it to the final round. On the flip side, this season would be ridiculously boring without her. And just think of all the tricks we're learning from her about catching a man. Bite lip often, smush up lips and wrinkle nose, play with arachnids, twirl hair and when all else fails just F*&K him in the ocean! 

No real surprise on our losers this week. Guess he's not much for blondes. Rachel your days were numbered. I think I fell asleep during the segment entitled, "Fear Factor, Sexy Version". I know that the Bachelor "formula" is one that works. 
1)Put a bunch of gals together in isolation from the outside world
2)Have man to compete for
3)Add alcohol
But the theme of "conquering your fear relates to becoming vulnerable in a relationship" is just tiresome. I believe I would call this the worst season of Bachelor dates. There's at least 2 dates every episode that I could easily call a worst nightmare scenario for myself *still get chills thinking of having to ski down a street in a bikini*. I used to want to sign up my single friends (shout out to TRACI) just so they could take the awesome trips, but now not so much (also she got married :)

Emily- sorry you didn't make it a bit longer. I think if she hadn't become so caught up in the drama (sigh... Courtney had it coming) she would have made it a bit farther and perhaps could have been the next Bachelorette. Now she's just the bitch who got into it with Courtney and has a few cute clever raps. 

Nicki- She's growing on me a bit. I think she'll be cut next week. 

Kacie B- Girl you got some crazy 4 am hair. I was dying when she put that hibiscus flower in her hair. Looked like someone shot at her head like an arrow. Still thinking final 2 for her. Not sure why she's falling for this douche. 

Lindzi- this chick is gettin on my last nerve. Her sing songy raspy voice is throwing me over the edge. She's just so damn happy to be on these shitty dates with this shitty dude. Also I need her to stop wearing the nude lip color- it's not working for me. *cranky Amy is ready for bed*

So any of you watch Real Housewives? I love them all (except Miami!). Think I might write a few posts for anyone who has a little life left to waste on some serious reality tv. 

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