I kinda hate to start with Rachel's date, but might as well stay in order. First of all she looks like a cross between Anna Farris and Lindsey Lohan. I was going to say maybe Emma Stone but I think that is too much credit. I'm thinking it's her hair color. Washes her out. Maybe the flat bangs. Something about her just bugs me. Maybe it's her "wall". I'm thinking she would make a great auburn. One of those great red/orange shades that Drew Barrymore pulls off so well. Clearly I found her hair to be way distracting from the actual date which was a snoozefest. They lost me on the lake when they were smothered by 50,000 gnats saying "this is so nice". Dude they needed a freakin mosquito net or some Off. I see this going nowhere. I believe Ben described the relationship as "a slow burn that might be worth it". Umm yeah... romantic.
The group date. Hmm... well it beat skiing down the street in a bikini. Let's all watch Ben try to help the ladies catch a fish while he clearly knows as little as they do. Interesting. So I wonder which intern got to plant the fish on Courtney's line? Really Courtney, you magically figured out what the fuck you were doing and *swoon/ giggle* caught a fish? Riiight. Somehow she pulled off that little hat. I do have to say I laughed a bit watching Lindzi's face as Ben rode up on a horse. Never seen someone so excited to see a pony. And I LOVED him kicking Samantha off. I mean honestly, don't we all have a secret desire to watch a sorority bitch go down. Little miss tri delt didn't get in her quality time. wahh wahh wahhh.. bye. He did look sort of dick though. *inner chuckle*
My little Jennifer that could. Again didn't think my personal nightmare of skiing down a public street on national tv could get worse but perhaps repelling down a cave in one with a harness squeezing my fat would top it. Girl I understood your fear. Those camera angles from below are freakin scary shit. Come on now, we know it wasn't the height or the water below that was getting to you. It was swimsuit logistics. I feel that. I have to say, she rocked it well. You go girl. Her colors were a bit primary for me. Super bright yellow suit with super bright red hair... a bit much. But tone both down just a shade or two and I'm on board. I think I can see her in top 4. Really sick of the cliche date themes "catch a fish" and "take the plunge"... seriously?
Ladies Recap:
- COURTNEY: CRizzzazy bitch. But it just wouldn't be The Bachelor without one like her. "Winning" hmm that's so 2011- haha. It's almost like she slips in and out of consciousness. Like she has to remember to be threatening and self confident and then she slips back into ditz mode and says things out loud that she meant to say in her head. For example, she goes from "You fucked with the wrong girl" to "my glass goes taller than anyone else's". Must be total insanity to be in her head. She also referred to "poo" this evening. Goes right along with her "what's her butt" comment. Classy. I laughed out loud with her "I was just there!" moment referring to Puerto Rico. Wow Courtney, you are so cool. Wish I could be you.
- Emily: So have you not seen any of the previous 15 seasons? So the girl who talks shit about other girls to the Bachelor gets kept around for one more date so she can be pumped for additional info and then dumped because she obviously is still in middle school. P.S. Why are you having Blakely give you highlights in the bathroom while sipping scotch through a straw? Not good choices as my daughter would say. P.P.S. Cute rose ceremony dress though!
- Blakely: I'm really ready for her to leave but I did think her stomp routine was KICK ASS!! My inner gangsta has always wanted to do that. Bucket list.
- Nicki: Wow so you both had a friend that died? You must be soul mates.
- Kacie B: I'm gonna say frontrunner. Her and Courtney final 2. Fingers crossed she can keep herself composed for the next few weeks.
- Kasey S: Where the fuck did you come from? Little tattletale.
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